Gratitude

Thank you for all your expressions of sympathy and love.

Your support and prayers are deeply appreciated.

  

I am grateful for so many blessings...

...for the beautiful and close relationship I had with my Mom

...for the gift of time to be able to be with her so much this last year 

...for a loving, understanding and supportive family

...for wonderful friends

...for my faith.

Spring is here...

Mom loved this time of year...

...a time for new beginnings.

Wishing you a joyful spring!

With much gratitude and love, Laura

  

Saving Change to Create Change

It's December 20th and today is the day the PVHS Foundation launches the Save Change to Create Change campaign to raise money for building the Poudre Valley Cancer Center.

December 20th is also a special day for me. It's my dad's birthday. I want to thank him for being a great example of generosity, positive energy, focus, and drive. He is the most highly self-motivated person I've ever known and I'm sure I get my ability to run ultras from him.

It's the day before solstice, and there's only one day to go until the days start getting longer. For now, it's dark outside most of the time, and it's a good time for contemplation and review of the past year, and for thinking about hopes and dreams for the coming year.

As I'm preparing to run around the track at the end of each year, I'm reflecting on a list of meditations for my Across the Years race. What have I learned this year? How can I be better next year?

Looking back, I learned a lot this year. I suffered some pain, but I also grew from the experiences. Things came into sharper focus as a result. I learned that I should have trusted my gut a lot more than I did, and spoken louder than I did. I left myself vulnerable, but I'm glad I did in a way because in that vulnerability I learned the lessons I needed to learn.

And as a result of the actions I took from those lessons, I am in a much better place now in so many aspects of my life. I know I can be better next year, and make more of a positive impact.

Make your new years resolution count in 2011 by making a positive impact.



What better gift could you give? If you have influenced someone else in a positive way, then you have made a positive impact. A thousand small acts, like pennies, all add up to something big.

Guided by some basic values, we can influence others in good ways. The principles of integrity, equality, community, simplicity, and peace are the ones I like to start with. They are building blocks, as well as things in which to strive for improvement. Here is what this means to me:

To the greatest degree that you can, practice

integrity: be true to who you are and genuine in all your interactions with others

equality: no one person is better than another, we are all of equal value as human beings, and each of us brings a unique presence and gift to this world, the actions we each take will make our mark on the world and other people's lives

community: remember that everyone is a part of a community, or several, which are all connected

simplicity: less is more, take only what you need and share with others who have less

peace: be aware of your presence in the world and how it impacts others, be kind, be quiet, and listen first, think before speaking, but speak out loud when it makes a difference

At Across the Years, as we circle the track around Nardini Manor, we will all be united in the event and sharing a common goal, to cover as many miles as possible in the time we have chosen to run, 24, 48, or 72 hours. I can't think of a sporting event that better exemplifies these principles.

My goal at Across the Years
is to run at least 150 miles. If enough people donated a penny per mile, it could add up quickly. My running partner said she'd give a quarter a mile. I've been dumping my loose change into an old coffee can and I'll donate that.

I challenge everyone reading this to make a New Years resolution of generosity, making a big impact through something small, by contributing some loose change to the PVH Foundation Cancer Building Fund, to build something that will bring wellness to this community. Small steps, small things that add up and make a big difference.

My favorite suggestion for donations: Consider donating an extra dollar per each mile I go over my goal.

The following part of this blogpost is a modified version of an earlier post I wrote on September 25, 2010:

Some simple guidelines for the coming year: Be Kind, Be Well, Be Generous.

Kindness

"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up"- Jesse Jackson

Remember the power of a small thoughtful act, like a thank you, a word of appreciation, even something as small as a smile, eye contact, or acknowledging someone else's presence. Small things make a big impact.

Make an effort every day to acknowledge people, thank them for the things they do, make eye contact and smile when it's genuine and appropriate.

Wellness

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something...I will not refuse to do the something I can do"- Helen Keller

When I talk about wellness, everyone thinks I mean running. Any exercise is a huge part of my own wellness. It's important to move your body, to keep the blood circulating, to bring oxygen and fresh nutrients to your muscles and organs. For me, moving forward boosts my creativity. I put in as many miles walking as I do running.

If I'm struggling with a problem, and I go for a run, even if I don't actively or consciously think about the problem while I'm running, I usually end up solving it after the run, or at least I have a better approach. The same thing happens if I go for a walk.

There is something about the forward, rhythmic motion of moving through the air, arms and legs pumping, that turns the wheels in my head and gets it all going. I find it hard to think when I'm sitting still. I challenge everyone to find ways to add self-propelled forward motion. For example, walking to the little grocery store in my neighborhood instead of driving to the big supermarket. It takes less time to make the round-trip on foot, I timed it.

There are so many ways to make changes in our lives, but to make change last, you have to start small. Take small steps, and achieve success with those, before taking bigger steps. It's a process, but even if you make one small change in the direction of wellness next year, it's a success.

Success builds on success and you will learn that it is possible to make lasting, positive changes. Then it becomes easier to take the next step.

Generosity

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"- Lao-Tzu

Don't underestimate the importance of a penny. It's a small thing by itself, not much value, but like any small thing in numbers, they add up to something big. When I do speaking engagements, often I tell the audience that success builds on success. One small thing each day. A series of small steps add up to something big. Sixteen hundred steps in a mile. One hundred sixty thousand of them in a 100 mile run.

A penny by itself is only a cent. One hundred fifty pennies is a dollar fifty. If a thousand people give a dollar fifty, that makes $1500. Loose change can do a lot.


Save change to create change, and start moving forward now!

The Keys: Gratitude and Generosity

The two themes that have emerged over the past week are gratitude and generosity.

While I am frantically packing and getting ready for the Keys 100 race, I have taken the time this week to keep my focus off the race so much and to concentrate on the other things I'm involved in outside of running.

Where do gratitude and generosity fit in with running across the Florida Keys? Three different events this week brought me back to these themes, all separate situations, but related in an important way.

First, this past week was Nurses Week. In the past when I worked full-time, it seemed that I never got to participate in any of the Nurses Week activities because I was working, taking care of patients. This year with my part-time schedule I got to attend a class which got me thinking.

And someone else I've met recently who is a cancer survivor said something about gratitude this week that I've contemplated in the past, but the way she framed it with words was so perfect because of her experiences and genuine feelings behind it.

Finally, last night was the Foundation's Spring Benefit event, which is always a great time. The theme was fitting, "island casual", for my upcoming trip. The featured speaker emphasized the theme of generosity.

Being involved in these group learning activities and social events helps keep my running in perspective. Before I go into detail about how these three events fit the themes, I'll talk about the running.

Keeping the race in perspective is helpful, I haven't been so focused on this one, because it isn't a "big race" for me. It is a training run, a reminder of how to run this particular distance, which isn't my favorite, but it's an important re-learning experience.

Making myself run this distance will be good because it pushes me out of my comfort zone. It's a mental training exercise more than anything.

I haven't run the 100 mile distance in 12 years, since my last Leadville Trail 100 in 1998. I like the fixed-time events like the 24 hour, 48 hour, and Badwater-type distance races so much more, they allow me time to sleep, enjoy it, and not worry about a time limit.

The one hundred mile race distance never did agree with my body, I could always finish, but I felt rushed when I needed a nap, when my body was telling me to sleep, and I had to look at my watch and keep moving to make it in under the time cutoff.

I haven't had much time for the nagging little obsessive runner thoughts, like the fact that I've done just six long runs for this race, that I've averaged only 48 miles a week since the beginning of the year, that I've never run in humidity before, that I weigh more now than I ever have in my life, even after I graduated from nursing school.

Probably due to the fact that a few weeks ago I discovered Ben and Jerry's Key Lime Pie ice cream, a new flavor. Perfect for pre-race fat loading, with an island theme.

This morning I'm headed downtown to watch the finish of the Colorado Marathon. Among so many runners I know, I will be looking for Eric, a co-worker who is running his first marathon. I'll see the runners come across the finish line, glad to be done. What evaporates from their minds at this point are the little trivial nagging ideas in the back of their minds that runners obsess about. Have I trained enough? Am I prepared? Am I rested? Have I gained/lost too much weight? Will an injury flare up?

I was commiserating with Cat, my running partner, about these little things on our run this week, but we laughed about how we think the same way and it really doesn't matter. You're ready if you think you're ready. And I am ready.

And at the end of the race runners are just glad to be done, relieved to be able to rest and socialize and get back to normal. All the little worries are gone.

And I know I will be, too. I know what I will feel. That I am so fortunate to be here, to be able to run this race, to be able to take a vacation, to be with my husband for 20 years, that we have our beautiful dogs, and to have the life that we have.

And it's an opportunity to give. I hope that people will donate to the Foundation in honor of my race, but even more important is getting a message across. The message that we are all a community, we all depend on each other, no one goes through this life alone, and we are individuals, but we are not separate from each other.

Gratitude and generosity.

The Nurses Week presentation was about horizontal hostility among nurses. As I've said before, nurses are great advocates for their patients but terrible at advocating for themselves. In any workplace, interactions with other people can be the hardest part of a job. People bring their unresolved issues from their lives to work. It's a fact, no matter what your occupation is or where you work, it can happen at any level in an organization, and it can be vertical as well as horizontal.

I think gratitude and generosity both fit in here. When you appreciate what you have, you can be kind to people. Accepting them where they are, and not making assumptions or judgements. Appreciating them for who they are, different and separate from you, but connected. We always have opportunities to learn so much from each other, and to give each other so much.

Often the rewards we receive at work are material things. But in the workplace, simple things like a kind word or even eye contact, greeting people by their name, letting them know you recognize their presence and acknowledging that they exist, that you recognize what they do, shows them they are valued. These are such simple practices but so often get lost and forgotten in interactions with others.

The person I met recently, who touched me with her words about gratitude, was speaking with a group of us the other night, and the theme of gratitude came through in a way that I think many runners would benefit from hearing. She is not a runner, but she talked about the often-expressed notion that your health is everything. Not everyone believes that, but I think many runners do.

She discovered that when her health was at the lowest point during her cancer treatment, it allowed her to see all the other things she has in her life, that it changed her perspective on how she valued things.

The body is one thing, but the presence of friends, family, a spiritual presence, and so many more things are important, even if physical health is not optimal.

Runners can forget. They assume they will be able to keep on going race after race. Their lives and health often revolve around running. All it takes is an injury or illness to send a moderately obsessed runner into a tailspin. What do I do now? It causes a sort of identity crisis.

Sometimes I hesitate to put my event list on this blog because I have seen how tenuous life and health can be. I hope to be able to do most or all of those events, but it's not certain. There are no guarantees.

Finally, last night I attended the Spring Benefit. The featured speaker was a local oncologist, a warm, vibrant, highly respected physician who is also a cancer survivor. She spoke about generosity, our connectedness to each other in the community, and how this theme has tied her life together.

We are truly connected to each other. We give something to others all the time, every day, whether or not we are aware of it, with everyone we encounter. It can be as simple as kindness, or it can be something not quite as good.

We have a choice in what we give.

Make what you give a true gift.

p.s. Congratulations Eric for finishing your first marathon! Great job!

Thankful for routine things

Two Rock Repeats today, followed by a few miles with the Buffaloes. Tonight, 6 miles with the Wednesday night group at Runner's Roost. I'm feeling good and recovered from the race, just sleep deprived. I'm taking care of all sorts of errands and business this week, all the pleasant things I get to do this time of year, like taxes.

But I am thankful for these routine things. Any unpleasantness is forgotten when I think of the alternative. I have a job, I get to pay taxes. I have my eyes, teeth, and breasts, so I get to get my eyes checked, go to the dentist, and get a mammogram. I have two beautiful Australian Shepherds, and I get to pick up after them, in our backyard.

I did have my eye exam Monday and I'm getting new glasses. Not quite ready for reading glasses, but getting closer all the time. I had to wait until after dark to go running Monday, my pupils were still huge for 10 hours after my appointment. They always say it will resolve in 4 hours but it always takes so much longer for me. Same with the dentist, it never wears off until the next day. And next week is my favorite, the mammogram, the giant two-way ironing board. Can't wait.

The Southridge trail at Horsetooth Mountain Park was snowpacked and icy for about half the distance. Slowed me down a little, but I felt good climbing. I haven't worked on my powerwalk much so this was a good chance to do it. With Old Pueblo coming up, I needed to inoculate my quads with some downhill running. This whole winter has consisted of running on pavement, mostly the concrete bike paths! It felt so good to run dirt during the Pemberton race and today on Horsetooth Mountain.

Still waiting for some warm weather to happen, so I can clean up the yard. For now, we're just adding to the spring cleanup with every bowl of dog food...

But I can be thankful that the grass will be green this spring.

Looking Forward

This time of year is always important for me. It's a time for spiritual renewal, for looking back over the past year's events, and looking forward to the unopened gifts of the coming year. With the dark, cold and snow it gets quiet outside, I have the cool air and gray skies to myself, people have mostly gone indoors, and it's a time for introspection, reflection, and quiet planning for what's ahead.

Solstice is when the light returns and I always think of January 1st as the first day of spring. This year we are lucky to have a blue moon. December 31 is the second full moon this month.

Since Across the Years is not happening this year it is important to carry out my tradition, which is to run in the new year. I will miss my running companions but they will be with me in spirit, in various places around the planet, doing the same.

I'm going to spend 12 hours of the holiday being upright and moving forward into the new year. No goal for miles, just move forward for 12 hours, listen to music, meditate, and celebrate being alive, the return of the light, give thanks for all the good in my life, and give thanks for all the difficulties which have really been opportunities for change and growth.

The way I always prepare for this is to make my list of meditations for the run. Things I want to focus on, things I want to change, and always in a spirit of gratitude. I am not sure where I'll run yet, I am so used to running in circles while I do this, but I'll find the right place, with a view of the big sky and the mountains.

Anyone can join me, on their own, in any place, at any time during the two days of December 31 and January 1. Run in circles, run a straight road, trail or path, or run on a treadmill. Just go. Move from one year to the next, with the energy and motion of being alive. If you do, write me a note and tell me what you did, and more importantly, what you learned.

Happy Solstice!

Gratitude

There are so many things to be thankful for.

Last weekend we went up to Trout Creek Pass to check on things. Our neighbors up there have been trying to get in touch with us about this, which happened earlier this year while we were gone. Call it a miracle, call it what you will, but we were so lucky.

This dead pine tree has been standing by the shed for a few years since the big mountain pine beetle invasion 5 years ago. We only lost two trees and we are lucky to have so many Douglas Fir which didn't get affected by the pine beetles. When it fell, it missed our shed, the fenced-in area for the dogs, and the nearby Douglas Fir tree. Missed all of it. Fell neatly, perfectly in between.





The lot next door was sold, but the old owners left the Silver Stream that's been there forever. That thing was already delapidated when we first looked at our lot in 1997. Maybe the new owners will restore it.



This past week there have been many other things to be thankful for. I sprained my ankle a week ago Saturday and I stayed off of it and iced it, and I am now running again. I was able to run after just 5 days off. Last Thursday, my first run after my ankle sprain, I got to run with my old running buddies Tom and Allison. I finally had a Thursday night off when I didn't have to work the next morning so I got to run with the Thursday night group, and it was so good to run with them again.

The other thing I am thankful for is that I ran the Mountain Avenue Mile on August 13th and even though my time was slow and I felt like a thundering herd of elephants running down the street carrying my 12 pounds of extra flesh I've acquired over the past year or so. I ran 6:42 which for me is very slow but I had fun and watched Dennis and Felix both run great races, both finished in about 5:10.

And then running-wise I am thankful that I was able to run 20 miles today, on my own, no walking whatsoever (not a step!) and did it without having to force myself out the door, without anyone else along to motivate me, and even though I was slow I kept a steady pace, didn't listen to music, and didn't ever once deteriorate into a death march or bad attitude.

I didn't realize but it's been well over a year since I had the motivation to do a long training run on my own. I am actually looking forward to that 50K run in a few weeks on the Hopi reservation.

Today, I am thankful for not feeling burned out on running.

Gifts

My 45th birthday is coming up next week. Like the speed limit sign says, this is fast enough, I don't need the years to go by any faster. It's hard to believe 45 is midlife when you feel like you're 23.

Today I felt like I got a birthday present, in an odd way. Lately I've been feeling sort of flat. Not depressed, but not really excited about running, or anything, and I've been dragging my feet about planning my next adventure. I'm not the only one, I've talked to a few other people lately who are also experiencing low energy and lack of enthusiasm.

I tend to get introverted and every so often I have to remind myself that there's a world out there, otherwise much of the time I'd be content to focus on whatever task I'm doing at the moment, or lose myself in my long solo runs.

The connection to others is a gift.

When I meet people who are depressed, they often have isolated themselves unintentionally, and they feel like they have lost their connections to others. Helping them reconnect is important, because the connections are still there, they just haven't been maintained. It usually takes a small effort. For depressed people that effort can seem like a huge mountain to climb, but that's another tangent.

This morning I was out on my run, planning to go about an hour, to get some miles in, and I wasn't feeling particularly enthusiastic but didn't feel bad. I was approaching Shields Street, headed west on the bike path when I ran into three runners coming toward me. I recognized Cat, and she was out with two other people running before their yoga class. She was about to stop and to talk to me but I turned around in their direction and started running with them. We ran about a mile and a half together before they turned off for yoga and I had to go home.

Just talking with Cat about her upcoming plans to run her first 50 miler, and her enthusiasm about having talked with another ultrarunner in her first 50K last year, who helped her see another way of looking at finishing an ultra, was uplifting for me. One of the runners she was with talked about how she hopes to do a marathon someday. Feeling that energy and knowing they are exploring something new reminded me that there are so many nice people out there in the running community, lots of people I have never run with, opening the possibilities to expand my social circle and running partners.

And when I got home I had two emails from running friends who will be joining me in my run on Sunday, Felix and Jeff. I felt so much better. Later I had energy to go back outside and enjoy the afternoon on the trails, after a massage from Cindy.

Sometimes you don't see the gifts that are hidden because you see only the screen that you've put up to filter things out. If you filter the world out too much you won't recognize a gift right in front of you, you're too busy screening things out.

Someone can brighten your day unexpectedly. It's a matter of opening your eyes and allowing yourself to receive the gift.

This afternoon I ran around Dixon Reservoir. It was a warm day, in the 70s, and the wind was gusting on the east side of the water. All the college students were out, restless, working on their tans, getting ready for spring break. Nothing is green yet, we need some rain. This is Colorado, and we should be getting several feet of snow by next month. We change the clocks back to Daylight Savings Time on Sunday.

Spring is here!